What theists really mean when they say...
"See the light" = Start living in a dream world
"Moving away from God" = Start living in the real world
"You are arrogant" = Please stop sticking to facts, it's annoying
"I hope God can forgive you" = I wish I could shoot you
"Good Christian" = Someone who does good deeds just to please God
"Atheist" = Someone who does good deeds just because they can
"Believers" = A club for people who like pretending they'll never die
"Church" = Where the club meets to play the pretending game
"The word of God" = I need a rule book and this is it
"God's will" = Every single thing that could ever possibly happen
"Against God's will" = You're not sticking to our book, are you?
"Jesus loves you" = I think you're a twat
"The end is nigh" = Listen, if you won't play the pretending game I'm going to wish you dead and then you'll get scared and start playing
"Priest" = Someone who is an expert at pretending and has memorised lots of useless information to help delude others
"Other religions" = They're just pretending the wrong pretend stuff is true but it isn't, only ours is the real pretend stuff
"Scientists" = Those annoying people who keep making us look silly
"Evolution" = Theory that makes much more sense than mine, just poke your tongue out and hope it goes away
"Truth" = Delusions we in the club have all agreed on